|| A Norwegian folktale ||
Once upon a time there was a man who was so bad tempered and vain that he thought his wife never did anything right in the house. He often muttered, “Women do nothing!”
One evening after he came home, he scolded his wife and made a commotion.
“Dear love, don’t be so angry. That’s a good man,” said his wife, “tomorrow let’s exchange jobs. I’ll go out and make hay, and you can mind the house at home.”
“Yes,” the husband thought “that would do very well. She can see how hard I work in the fields. That ought to keep her humble”. He was quite willing, he said. And so they exchanged jobs.
So early the next morning, his wife took a scythe (long curved dagger for cutting grass) over her neck, and went out into the hay field with the mowers and began to mow. But the man was to mind the house and do the work at home.
First of all he wanted to churn the butter. But when he had churned a while, he got thirsty and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale.
He had just turned on the tap and put a mug underneath when he heard the pig come into the kitchen above.
Oh no! The Butter!
As fast as he could, he ran up the cellar steps, to keep the pig from upsetting the churn.
But when he got there he saw that the pig had already knocked the churn over, and was rolling over and happily grunting in the cream which was running all over the floor.
He got so angry that he quite forgot the ale barrel that left open in the cellar and chased the pig around. The pig, dripping in cream, made a horrible mess around the house. At last, he caught the pig, gave it a kick and tied it in the yard.
Phew! But Dear God, the mess! He has to clean it up.
And wait, is that the sound of some leaking tap?
He remembered the barrel and ran downstairs to the cellar. The barrel had emptied.
Great. Now he has to clean the house and the cellar too.
“But first, let’s take care of the dinner”, he thought. Rest can wait. Then he went into the milk-shed and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for they had to have butter for dinner.
When he churned a little bit, he remembered he hadn’t fed the cow a morsel of hay or a drop of water from morning. The poor thing must be starving!
But he can’t leave the butter churning, his little baby could crawl over. So he tied the churn to his back and when to went draw water from the well for the cow.
As he bent over the edge to draw the water, the churn on his back emptied into the well. All the cream is now in the well. What a disaster!
He drew the water anyway. For the food, he thought, “It’s too late to take the cow grazing. There is lot of grass growing on the low roof, I’ll put a plank so the cow can climb up and eat. But let me tie a rope so she doesn’t fall off”.
So he tied one end of the rope to the cow and another end to himself.
It’s almost supper time.
“Well, let me atleast make some porridge”, he thought. He hung a pot of water over the fire. Then he started grinding some oatmeal.
He was grinding seriously when the cow walked over to the edge of roof and fell, dragging the man up the chimney to the roof. There he was stuck, on top of the chimney.
As for the cow, she was hanging between earth and heaven, for she could go neither up nor down.
Such a funny sight it was!
Meanwhile the wife had finished her work and was waiting to be called for supper. She waited and waited and finally came home, shocked to see the cow randomly hanging from the roof. She took her scythe and cut the rope. As it was a low roof, the cow fell, almost unhurt. Meanwhile, her husband fell within the chimney.
When the old woman came inside, she found the kitchen greased with butter, the cellar messed with ale, the pig oinking, the baby crying and lastly, the husband with his head in the porridge pot. She doused the fire and laughed so hard.
As for the man, he never again complained about his wife!
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